Last week was hard.
These first few weeks I have so much free time that I don't have any idea what to do with myself.
Anyone who knows me knows that, somehow, my schedule at home ends up being packed with enough tasks per day to comfortably fill three days! I never quite know how it happens but, I start each semester with work and school (which fill up A LOT of time, unfortunately) and continue to add things for accomplishing tasks, for pleasure, and for entertainment. Then the homework starts to pile on so the entertainment leaves the lists. Then about 2/3 of the way through the semester, I'm asking myself and the friends around me, "How on earth do I ALWAYS make myself so busy??" Part of it is that I do well when I have tons of things to get done. There is a point of insanity that I reach every once in a while when I can't handle it but, be busy is addictive. It has been habit for so long that when I have the opportunity and given time, my agenda is packed to the limit.
Then I arrive in Grenoble. From the very beginning, I was really looking forward to not working while I'm here!! I have always been jealous of some of my friends and fellow students who can dedicate their college years solely to school. This semester will be the one window in my college career when I'm not working. If I wanted, I couldn't work anyway! The visa/employment situation is very confusing here and part time work for students is a lot less common here.
In addition to not working, the class schedule here is very different and strange than my home university. For various reasons, I have only had class one or two days a week.
The first week I was able to travel a little bit which was a lot of fun! However, in total, this situation has led to more free time than I have had in years!!!!!
I know that it is a good thing. This is a nice opportunity for me to relax and enjoy not having an insane schedule. I know that I will jealously look back on this time of leisure. The only thing is, when my schedule was so packed back home, it was filled with so many wonderful people. Having this free time, left me thinking about all of the wonderful people in my life and how far away you all are!! It was pretty lonely.
However, (now this is very important!) God is faithful!! Friday was the hardest day and during it I remember praying and talking with God about my situation. I wondered if the whole five months was going to be this lonely and if it was, I wasn't sure that I could handle it!! I have met some people here but new friends are always hard for a while. Plus, a lot of people here have really been getting to know one another through partying and that is just not my preference. I know that I will get to know people through classes and other activities it was just frustrating because it seems to be the long way of getting to know people.
During last week, I also had a couple of conversations with friends back home about meeting people through church here. I had attended service for a couple of Sundays but hadn't met anyone yet. It's a much larger church than mine in Omaha and for one of the weeks, I wasn't able to stay around for long. Still, I was really hoping to meet some people with my similar lifestyle and focuses.
As I mentioned above, God is faithful!! Classes will start to pick up after next week. I met a WONDERFUL french family on Sunday at church as well as some other young people (even a few americans!). I have also realized that even though I have lots of unstructured time, I can still be productive (which is good for the to-do list part of me!). I really know that God is with me through all of this. I know that He is walking with me as I stroll around town, as I'm meeting new people, and as I terribly miss the people back home.
For you cultural junkies, I had lunch yesterday with Madison at a cute little creperie near my house. It was delicious, so french, and so fun!!
I apologize for the large gap of time between posts!! (That is now on the to-do list and so will hopefully get accomplished more often!) Hopefully the length of this one will make up for it!
I love you guys and, as I mentioned above, miss you all!! Stay in touch!
Your Grenobloise,
Ashlie
P.S. Tomorrow starts February! I have been here for four weeks already! Some days those for weeks feel like an eternity and others like it has been a blink of an eye. It's crazy...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
i understand my friend! the pace of life here is slower, more luxurious which is the anti-thesis to what i am accustomed to... & though it is good for my health, i too find myself using those gaps to miss the people dear to me... or at times for me, miss the person who broke up with me :) however, yes feburary is upon us & it is really only 4 weekends untill march. time is gradually picking up speed & soon it will be 1/2 way & then after that everything brings us closer to home!! have hope my dear. i completely understand... 1 thing i have taken is more time to work on all the parts of me that are just mine, that make me me... art, spiritual life, coffe, running, dancing. i too understand the hardship of meeting ppl- but give it time... which we seem to have so much of! i hope that i can encourage you with something my father encouraged me with & something i read in a book:
a)"for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. -philipians
b)
"we make sure to maintain enough distance between ourselves & others, & even between ourselves & our own heart to keep hidden the practical agnosticism we are living now that our inner life has been divorced from our outer life. having thus appeased our heart, we are nonetheless forced to give up our spiritual journey bc our heart will no longer come with us. it is bound up in the little indulgences we feed it to keep it at bay"
- the encouragement from this second part is just that we do not have the luxury of little indulgences here, friends, habits, boys, etc... so we have the opportunity to further develop ourselves.
i can completely feel your pain & wonder as i read your blog... it is sometimes a terrible & sometimes a wonderful experience, but i have found that it is consistently an illuminating one.
if you can download 2 songs by sarah bettens "go" & "i'm ok"
love you. you are in my prayers woman! eleanor
I have been keeping tabs on your site. I am sure you are very lonely and miss your family and loved ones.
Time flies and you will be back before you know it and will wonder how it went so fast.
Take care of yourself, I will say an extra prayer for you!
Carol
Post a Comment